When You Screw Up the Shavige Bath


“We will leave as soon as we have breakfast.” I told my husband as soon as I got up.

“What will you make?”

“Don’t know, we will see.” I lied.

I had decided already. In my dream, the half green pepper on my kitchen counter, it had developed a face and limbs. It was almost threatening me not to throw it.  So, I thought it would be a brilliant idea to use chopped green peppers in shavige bath. You know, the slight heat from the peppers, sweetness from the onions, crunchy urad daal and peanuts. I was like all the women on lifestyle channels who have beautiful kitchens and talk in a cooking language I don’t understand.

And also, I don’t particularly like shavige bath. I like food based on complexity. How difficult is it to put tadka into desi noodles? There are no chances of screwing up. But my husband loves it.  I was feeling extra happy and duty bound since I was going to mother’s house . At least, he would eat what he liked and it would be a surprise.

I started out with chopping onions. If there was a crying competition while chopping onions, I would win it, I thought. “What are you doing?” My husband came to the kitchen and asked me again.

“Still not decided.” I said only hoping he would not see the shavige cover next to the stove.

“Okay, I think I know.” he smiled and went away.

“You don’t.” I shouted and put a pan on the stove. I do that when I am chopping the second onion. By the time I chop the onion, the pan would be heated enough. I like to believe, I am a multitasking genius. But, forgot that I had to chop the capsicum. And obviously realized it after chopping the second onion.

So, I put oil and chopped the capsicum real quick. I wanted to chop it fine but didn’t have the brains to switch off the stove and do it. So the capsicum was roughly chopped.I put mustard seeds, waited for it to splatter, urad daal, peanuts, and channa daal. Then realized, I had forgotten the curry leaves.

How can you not put curry leaves when there is a plant in your backyard?. I ran to the backyard and when I had taken enough leaves from the plant, my brain started working. Shit, the tadka would burn. I at least had to put it on low flame. I ran as fast as I could. But couldn’t save it. It got burnt a little. I would say a lot but still a little.

I continued with it anyway. Onions and capsicum went next. And the blackened bits were starting to bother me a little bit. To cover it up, I put a lot of water. And to compensate the water, I put a lot of noodles. I had ended up making burnt breakfast for five people. I felt so bad to throw it. I  put the left over stuff in a box, and took it to my mother’s house. I wanted to re heat and eat it in the evening. I forgot to do it for two days. Why does one forget everything while in mom’s house?

Husband’s Verdict : I was too scared to ask him for feedback. I was feeling sorry when he was picking the supposed to be crunchy urdal daal and peanuts. I also didn’t get the sweetness of the onions or the slight heat from the peppers. Damn you, TV. Now, I like shavige bath.

Points to Remember:

Never ever run to get curry leaves while on the tadka. If you have to do it, switch off the stove.

Find other interesting ways to use capsicum.

Love and respect all types of dishes. Everything is equally difficult to make.

Solve the memory loss in mother’s house mystery.

Pray to God that husband doesn’t read this.



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