When You Plan to Fail

“Failing to plan is planning to fail”. I was watching a video on the net. The woman in the video seemed to have everything sorted including her hair. It was perfectly straight while mine is tied with a two year old rubber band all the time. She insisted that all the meals you cook need to be planned. I thought only babies are planned or in most cases, unplanned.

So, may be this is the missing link to my failed multitasking efforts. You should not wake up and open the fridge and think what to cook. You need to plan and prepare in advance. It was those rare moments of enlightenment and happiness. I felt exactly like the women shown in fairness cream advertisements. A fairness cream will not only clear your dark spots or make you fair, it will solve life’s other problems as well – getting guys, winning singing competitions, or say no to getting married to name a few.

I thought planning will solve, almost magically, all my problems. It will save me time. Oh my God, I can so do what I want in that time – like you know may be play more games on the phone. The thing that attracted me was that I may have to spend less time in the kitchen. Soon enough, I was imagining filming my own videos. Have a channel. What would I name it? Simply -plan, Simplify-your-life, or How-planning-saved –me.

Just when I was at a point, in my head, where my channel had like thousands of followers, husband told me, we were leaving the day after. Back to reality, I thought. Why not give this planning thing a try. May be writing it down would help.

So, this was my plan.

Today – nothing to be done.

Tomorrow – Morning – Cornflakes – There is just enough milk for the both of us. So, I use the milk before leaving and won’t have to worry about breakfast.

Tomorrow – Afternoon – Use the left over chapati dough and make palya of the sprouted seeds.

Tomorrow – Evening – Finish the palya with the chapati or make rice if needed.

This was the most planning I did my entire life. So, the next day, I woke up pretty late knowing I had to just put cornflakes into two bowls and pour milk all over. I was already reaping the benefits of planning – an extra hour of sleep. This is what I will say in my first video. How to plan to get an extra hour of sleep? The answer is so SIMPLE. Oh my eyes were feeling so good and relaxed.

I went into the kitchen and took out to bowls and put cornflakes in them. I took out the milk from the fridge which I had stored in a tumbler. Just when I was about to pour it all over the flakes, I realized the milk had curdled, like on its own. I didn’t do anything to it. I swear, I am not making this shit up. This really happened, may be because of the climate. And that was the only milk I had and the store is like three km away. At that moment, how I wish I had a cow or I was a cow. I could just eat grass all day.

I saw my <add everyone’s favorite expletive + ING > plan. There was no mention about what to do when the milk curdled by itself. And there was nothing I could make expect chapati and sprouted seeds palya. I had “PLANNED” to do that in the afternoon.

Screw the extra hour of sleep. My relaxed eyes were now crying with the onions and my mood was totally off. Part of my plan was to do the dishes after I ate the cornflakes and non curdled milk. Like always I realized the chapati turning thing was still in the sink under a pile of other dishes and very obviously, I realized this when the first chapati was on the pan and one side was cooked.

It took me a minute to search it and the slightly burnt chapati went into my stomach a little later. And also, somehow I managed to make the palya a little salty. So, when I was into making the fifth chapati, I put three on a plate and the palya and gave to the husband. Came back to the kitchen and put the fifth one on to my plate switched off the stove and threw the spatula into the sink in that kind of a moment when you just don’t know what you are doing. Just when I was about to leave the kitchen with my plate, husband said,

“Can you make me an omelette?”

[In my mind] Of all the days, he wants an omelette today! I just threw the damn thing in the sink.

“Hello? Can you make it, the pan must be still on the stove right?”

“Yeah! I will make it.”

I searched it again, made the omelette and then gave it to him.

“So was the omelette good? I mean the salt?”

“Yes.”

“Cool.”

“By the way, we are not leaving tomorrow; we are staying for another week.”

“You know, failing to plan is planning to fail?”

“What?”

“Just eat your omelette!” [Of course in my mind]

“Nothing, I am planning to go back to my old ways.”

“Whatever.”

Points to remember:

  1. Planning is not for you. Find something else.
  2. The channel is not happening.
  3. Stop watching random videos on the internet.
  4. When things go wrong, they go horribly wrong.
  5. You can’t multitask, you can’t plan. But hey, at least you can blog about it.
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2 thoughts on “When You Plan to Fail

  1. He he nice one. Now you know what we developers go through each day 😛 i can easily replace your cooking with coding, husbands planing to customer requirement and milk to project manager 😀

    Like

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